caboblanco

I had a thought the other night while trying to fall asleep. I realized I've gotten to a point where the fear in my life is very low. What I mean by that is I was thinking of possible short term and long term scenarios for me....I thought of bad scenarios like living on the street or having no money..I felt like i could handle it if it came to be. Of course i wouldn't want that to happen but i wouldn't fall

apart mentally or emotionally. I would be alive and that would be ok for me...I really don't care about things I used to. I gave up some passions for peace...I feel like i tapped out the emotional response button...I don't think I'm cold though...this state of mind which might be considered a lack of character or

passion is a place where drinking doesn't even come to my mind..I don't need it or even want it...there is something going on besides my surface emotions and personality..if not I could never feel this way...something that's hard to explain..nothing to do with biology or psychology..

If my Dad were still around he would say i was lazy with no drive if i told him this....