Holy ___.... When did AXH move and find you? I could have written your post _word_for_word. Everything you've been told is what I'd hear from AXH....
And:
Originally Posted by
killerinstinct 
I just want to be protected - is that too much to ask!?
was what I'd wanted, too. When I first started dating AXH, being with him made me feel protected and loved. Only, looking back now, it wasn't really what was happening (it was a combination of that and control)... I'm working really hard to let that go, or find the sense of being protected and safe within myself. IDK
This:
Originally Posted by
killerinstinct he cant treat me this way anymore.
is the part to hold onto. Because you don't deserve that. Just because you trusted doesn't make you stupid, pathetic or weak. We want to believe the people we love when they say they'll stop, or they'll change. You're not stupid, pathetic, weak, crazy or any of the other negative descriptions you might be hearing from him, or applying to yourself. Having made it through that shows how strong you are: You weren't broken. You were able to break away from the cycle. You're able to stand and say "no more."
You're amazing. You're a wonderful mom; a beautiful, strong, intelligent lady.
((((hugs))))