Thank you, everyone for the feedback. I wasn't sure if this was a 'normal'(if there is even such a thing) amends, because I did find it to be a whole lot of quacking. As for his sponsor, I don't know the man's name or much at all about him. RAH told me that he meets with his sponsor after every Thursday meeting and that he asked his sponsor how to handle things with me if I would have brought up specific incidents which I feel he needs to apologize for. Which, by the way, never even crossed my mind because I had nothing to say and I wanted to focus on listening, trying to stay on my side of things, etc.
So, his sponsor knew he was going to make amends and he counseled RAH as to how to handle me if I should point out the past, etc. My own sponsor had told me a few weeks ago that AA groups around here take their folks through the steps quickly at first and then more slowly for the second time around. I have not spoken to her today as she is out of town this weekend on a retreat.
I don't know, but I still feel like he's just checking boxes. He made mention, also, to the fact that I had TOLD him what to do last year while we were in marriage counseling and that's why he fought me on it. I corrected him and told him that he pushed and pushed me for an answer and that I had no choice but to say something. He agreed that he pushed and said, "Yep, that's my way of controlling things."
As for what Mike said above: Yes, I let him take up space in my head, but not nearly as much as it used to. Mostly I just wanted feedback on this amends process because it sure seemed screwy to me. I've made my amends to many people through Al Anon and I remember being in tears and being genuinely sorrowful over what I had done to them. And, none of it was all that bad. Most of my amends were because I was sticking my nose in other people's business and telling them what to do and how to do it and another of my amends was to an old friend where I had to apologize to her for ending our relationship over a controversial episode instead of talking to her about it. I dropped her as a friend and never fessed up about my real feelings. When we met for coffee a few months ago we were crying and laughing and talking again as if the past 5 years didn't matter. It was a very freeing feeling but it took time for me to get there and lots of introspection and meditation.
Well, either way, I'm just hoping it's a step in the right direction for ME. RAH has his own path and I pray for him, that he is in God's will and on his way to real recovery, whatever that may look like for him.