Is there anybody you can forgive?
My ex-husband took my kids to Sweden when they were 3 and 5 years and it took 3.5 years and every penny I had to get them back. I never thought I would. I cried almost every day. He did it just to be mean and spiteful and left them with babysitters and nannies. They were always the last to be picked up for aftercare. Their Swedish teachers told me so. They wanted me to get the kids but my ex tied me up in court battle after court battle.
I can't think of a person I hated more except maybe my father. I married a controlling jerk like my dad is. Sorry, it's true.
Well, I can't and won't tell the entire story of the custody case, it would take too long.
I have the kids now and they see their dad every other weekend.
Recently, he had some bad luck. He was in a really bad state. It was affecting the kids.
So I found him a better place to live, lent him security and rent money. Bought furniture. He'll pay us when he is able. He is an electrical engineer and earns a good salary but child support was killing him because he had a period of unemployment last year and a little this year.
Then, one week after moving into his new place, he lost his job. This lead to more loans. Now he has a job and is getting it together.
But I never thought I would ever find myself helping him after he took 3.5 years away from me.
It has been massively healing.
With my dad I would have to send him a letter and then rip up anything he wrote back, if he wrote back, because he is toxic and would just use words to hurt me. I will never have a relationship with him but I have thought about forgiving him but it would need to be in a one-sided way. Sorry if that sounds like not forgiving but I don't want him in my life. He only enjoys being mean and cruel.
So I don't know your personal demons but I just wanted to throw that out there.