hi liz, really glad you posted this and are working your own program cause this has got to be the most outrageous quaking i've heard from an a in a long time. i mean no disrespect at all to you, and really not to your h either. his 'amends' just really struck a sour chord with me.
being only 2 months sober i find it hard to believe he has worked the first 8 steps thoroughly enough to be doing an honest step 9 which is making amends. not doing the leg work of the first 8 steps will make doing step 9 almost impossible. it sounds like he is picking up the jargon and trying to use it to his advantage in manipulating his situation. jmho.
and i am also quite disturbed with his comments about your son. it sounds like he has figured out how to rationalize to himself being abusive.
you handled it well though and seem to have a handle on working your own program of recovery. i don't know your full back story and i apologize if i've been offensive in any way. wasn't sure i should post this but i couldn't stop thinking about it. i'm long time ra and recovering codie to my ras and for some reason your rah's halfa** amends offended me. i guess i mostly wanted to tell you that his performance imo wasn't even close to doing an amends. you deserve better. and imo if he truly wants to live a sober life he needs to be honest with himself and really work his program..... he's still pointing the finger at everyone but himself.
sending good thoughts your way and wishing you the best in your recovery.