Thanks everybody. I really appreciate all of your insights and words of encouragement.
I never considered myself to be a candidate for AlAnon, but I think I might look into it. I know a lady in AlAnon -- perhaps she can recommend a few good local groups/meetings.
I certainly don't want to be a doormat, and I don't want to take his inventory. But I've already been a doormat, and I've already taken his inventory
He says he's done an inventory but hasn't apologized for anything. He's been nicer to me lately. Perhaps doing the dishes last night was his amends.
He shared in a meeting last night that the longer you stay sober, the harder it gets to stay sober. I think the longer you stay sober, you lose motivation to work the steps, your inventories become less objective, and you become more of a jerk. So if being a jerk makes it hard to stay sober, then I suppose he's right.
I'll have 9 months sober on Wednesday. I haven't even told him. It's a stupid little accomplishment compared to his 25 years of absolute perfection.
I wish I never married someone in AA.