I read your other post as well.
Yeah man, I think it's time to do nothing but work on you.
You have an amazing gift right in front of you.
It's called a choice. Make it for yourself. I promise you those choices will get harder if you stay on this path with her.
My father once said, If I was your age, I'd have completed 2 PhDs by the time I'm the age I am now. He's 67. I'm almost 40.
His point. I have sooo much life in front of me.