Vintagedrummer

I posted a thread in another section about the breakup of my alcoholic fiance and I. I can't post the link, but I believe it's a rather new one. I believe it's in the Alchoholism Recovery section.

I'm riddled with the longing of my fiance, I miss her so very much and the anxiety and thought without her and starting my life over is sometimes too much to handle. I started Al Anon and a counselor and I hope that helps. It doesn't help that she was the apple of my eye. A truly beautiful woman that I shared my deepest emotions with. Our connection was very close and deep. I've never felt so hollow in my life. I can't get her back, at least not now and I feel deep guilt and regret for how I treated her alcoholism. Towards the end I actively called her an alcoholic and she would vehemently deny it. It would make me angry because of the hope and broken promises. It went on for a long time.

I just feel that if I went to Al Anon sooner and adopted their principles, I would've better handled the situation and we'd of been happier. I did alot of research about alcoholism, but not enough on forgiving her and accepting the situation.

I don't want to be riddled with doubt, regret, anxiety any longer. I know I must accept the situation, but it's all so very hard for me. I know there's only so much I can do and I'm trying to do the best to heal myself. I ran 5-6 miles today. More than I ever have. Just to get rid of the pain.

I know I'm doing everythin I can do, but is there anything else besides time that will help? Thanks very much in advance.