Very interesting question despite the vitriol.
The reasons I staid were and not in any particular order:
1. I grew up in an alcoholic home, to a large degree what I experienced was normal.
2. I was in denial. I was sure there was some other reason for her behavior.
3. I thought I could save her. There had to be something I could do, I just didn't know what.
4. I loved her so much. I couldn't imagine not being with her
5. I loved me so little. I never realized how small my self esteem was until I started recovery.
6. Guilt, how would she survive without me.
7. Fear, how would I survive without her.
8. There was so much I didn't know about her disease and mine.
I left 3 years ago and am in the middle of a divorce at this point. I have a strong recovery program and have achieved a measure of serenity. I continue to post to let others know recovery works and there is hope, if not for their qualifier at least for them.
When I came to this forum I too was full of hate and anger. My world had just fallen apart and i was lost. Most newcomers to here are in the same boat. We are all at different points in our recoveries and many are struggling with all the issues that in a large degree were thrust on them by loving an alcoholic.
I have found that compassion for the plight of others often helps me put my perspectives back in place.
Your friend,