My qualifier is the woman who birthed me. I am motherless by choice. My side now is peaceful. Learning to be an adult at age 31, but enjoying the bumps along the way because they mean that I'm trying. Before? Lots of anger and resentment. Dreading holidays. Being too embarrassed to have friends over. Sleeping with one ear open in case she fell out of bed again or down the stairs. Always having one finger on the emergency call button. Telling my kids to stay in their rooms and not come out until morning. Calling an ambulance for my diabetic grandmother because AM was too trashed to do anything. She didn't remember any of it the next day. The yelling, screaming, being told I was a waste of money. She would've been better off if my sister and I had never been born. Disney World was the most miserable place on earth.
But not anymore. It's peaceful now. And I know that I'll probably never see or speak to her again.