Sweetie...you are not alone. We are all in this with you. Are you on med's for the BP? Drinking and mixing med's...well, alcohol renders it all useless. You can do this. Keep reaching out okay? It feels like you pop in ...and then you go off and try to do this alone. You don't have to...not only do you not need to...you SHOULDN'T. Addiction seems to be an affliction of those who self impose their own isolating remedies. Keep reaching out honey..that's how its' done.