Hollow, no judging here. We all have our own demons to to deal with and overcome.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Personally I don't think people at meetings will judge you the way you feel they will. It may be hard for you to get close to people, but it sounds like you need "face to face" support.
Do what ever it takes to beat this, now, not tomorrow.
We are here for you, best of luck!