I just ran away from rehab. Yet again. I went out used and decided it was time to get clean. So I came back and two weeks later I am having awful symptoms that aren't Withdraw. I hope they are.
So now I am clean thinking all of these good things will happen to me if I keep doing the right thing.
Some may see some of these as a blessing, I see it as horrifying. I am 24. I'm done being the pretty girl that threw her life way. I want a life.
For a long time now I thought I could do my drugs and have a life. It worked for a little while, I made both my jobs and stayed out of trouble.
Everyday though I lived being so miserable. Everyday I would tell myself I can do this. I can figure this out. I can't, I cried everyday shoving a needle in my arm . And then I lost everything, so quickly...like many of you.
Meetings scare me. The people are so happy and they terrify me. I don't like getting close to people.
I think, if people really knew me knew the things that have happened to me...they would look at me in disgust . So I stay away for now.