I still remember when my wife told me "no" for the first time. Shocked me and her as well. We laugh about it today but that was the beginning of a new understanding between the two of us. We were married 15 years when we got sober together, her about a year before me. We'll be married 52 years this coming December and we're best friend. Mutual respect for each others dignity and feelings. Here's my belief. I TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT ME!! It's my responsibility to set ground rules and boundaries regarding other people. If I don't, other people don't know what the rules and boundaries are. I will agree however, that my feelings are my responsibility. If someone hurts my feelings, it's either intentional, or unintentional. Once my boundaries have been set and verbalized, people choose to respect them or not. If they do, all is well. If they don't, I don't hang around them. I have to learn to govern my feelings and not blame them on someone else.
