Hello and welcome to SR. I'm sorry you're here but thankful you found us.
I remember seeing similar things like that with my current AW (Alcoholic Wife) back when we were dating.
Today, I have a wonderful son with that same Actively Drinking Wife.
I sometimes think about those days when I was dating her and I wish I could go back in time and drop out of that relationship and never let it progress.
That thought would imply that I don't value my son as much as I think I do because I wouldn't have him without her and that is a head-cooker for sure.
However, I do love my son as much as I do. My choices are just alot harder these days and I wish my choices on nobody.
I applaud you for sharing your story.