Fully committing to my own well being (and my kids) has been the only thing that kept me going. If I held on to my relationship and let it drag me who knows what sort of mess I would be in now. I had to assess what was best for ME first and I know that my heart is taking care of my kids. If i'm an emotional angry mess, my kids see that.. and they only get one child hood.
My husband is also a recovering heroin addict. He recently had a slip. I didn't need a drug test to tell me this. His whole persona changed.
In my own relationship if I was talking to a guy on the regular or if my husband was talking to a girl on a regular I would tell the girl she better be ready and willing to take care of him. I would tell him to pack his bags and go live with her. But, my character defects are controlling... just one of my many character defects. Yet, I have to put MY well being over the other persons.
If I was the reason for my husbands lapse or addiction (which i'm not) but I COULD BE. Then I would expect him to leave me so he could live his best life without me addiction free. Because I love him... I would let him go. Everyone deserves a happy life and no one holds that KEY to our own happiness but ourselves. It has taken me YEARS to get this and know this is the truth.
Find your happiness.