SCW, this is not an easy battle! I was defined by my drinking for so long... 21 years too long!
Just when you think you are safe, you are pulled back into the dark cycle. After nine months sober last year, i've spent the last 9 months clawing my way back to 24 days today.
We are not weak for continuing to fight, not weak for relapsing, not weak for having a tough time with life!
We are weak if we give up on the fight completely.
We just need to learn from our past mistakes, realize what makes us happy in life and make strides towards that point which will define us for the better.
When sober, I too enjoy all of the little things that are attainable; taking my kids to all kinds of events because I am not too drunk to drive, not getting into unprovoked fights with my wife, being able to enjoy my days and nights at a much SLOWER pace... This is not to say that life has gotten any easier, it's just easier to deal with life's ups and downs from a sober stand point.
SWC, you are not weak or a "damned loser", you have an addiction... Try again, succeed this time by looking at your past mistakes as well as your successful 26 days; those 26 days are not lost.
You can do this and we are here to support each other...