Good luck to you, you can do this. I am in a similar situation, I drink like crazy every day and every single morning I wake up and say "never again, I am quitting" I shovel in the vitamins, milk thistle, kudzu, make my warm water with lemon and then by the afternoon I am back at it. Today I have taken the additional step to register here as a sign of my seriousness and I hope to make it through today alcohol free. And then do it again tomorrow. I have a good life, my only problems come from my alcohol abuse. I am also an expat, living in Italy. I have a few people close to me but not any friends really. It is difficult to face this alone when you are far from home. In my few successful periods (I am talking just mere days) of not drinking I found having a health focus helped me. I would take my vitamins, make fruit smoothies (who knows if they are really healthy but I felt good for consuming all the fruit and anti-oxidants), I would work out like crazy, take a bath with epsom salts to purify my skin, do an at home facial mask, put oil in my hair for an over night treatment.... anything that felt healthy and caring for my body. It is a good place to put all that nervous energy.