Lovemykids125

I have been with my ABF for almost 7 years. His DOC is heroin and was using for 10+ years (I have posted forums previously). He detoxed and got sober 7 months ago and has been clean since. At first I didn't feel connected to him, he really didnt show me much affection at all which I believe was due to trying to cope with his feelings of all the things I did to hurt him while he was using. I am fully committed to my relationship and want to move forward (we have 2 children together) and we started bonding and just felt like a fresh new-found love a few months ago to the point where I would've married him if he asked. Just recently I have been suspicious because he is extra needy for attention. I was thinking this came from years of low self esteem so it felt good for him to be social and make friends. He took it too far last week with a girl who claims she wanted to be my friend too and they were texting back and forth, which he says is harmless, but it put my guard up. He tells me he loves me and he would never cheat on me and that I'm being crazy and jealous and insecure. He even started crying telling me he has no friends and that he just wants friends. So I backed off and even though it still bothers me I believe he loves me. I checked his phone tonight in the history and saw "iHookup" so I went to the website and was so shocked bc I seen his profile. It shows a pic of his and and states "DTF"... So is that taking it too far or harmless bc clearly it's a sexting website. And then that makes me feel like what the hell am I doing wrong? I have been intimate every day with him when it used to be a once in a month thing and have been trying to give him plenty of attention. I used to go on websites searching for attention back when he was using so i sort of feel like this is karma and I deserve it but how can we move forward in our relationship if he is talking to other women sexually? Maybe he feels empty without the heroin and is searching for some other kind of high but he wasnt like this a month ago and he definitely is no sex/porn addict. I don't know how to bring it up either or even if I should or just wait to see if he puts an end to it without me saying anything. We all know you can't force an addict to do things they have to want to on their own which makes me feel like he needs to just put an end to it himself or I will never know how he truly feels if I confront him and he deletes it. Please some advice, I have always dreamed of what it would be like when he got sober and now that he is I still feel like I'm not enough.