H and I have also been married 30 years. I have just made 19 months sober. He is a "normie" who has, over time, gradually evolved into someone who rarely drinks now. But early on in my sobriety, he drank, and I resented ( hugely ). We have had many obstacles to overcome. It's often been difficult. We had to learn how to relate sober. It was clear we wouldn't have made it had I continued drinking, but even after I got sober I wasn't so sure . Long story short..... We are good now. It just takes time and a lot of communication . Maybe even therapy. It IS possible to have an even better relationship. Give yourselves time to heal.