So... I have been sober for so many years I no longer keep track. I am able to drink a half a beer on the 4th or on new years and not finish it. But yes I used to binge drink.
Right now I am scared because they have me on Oxy after surgery and I have had painkiller addiction problems... many years ago..after being hurt.
But the truth is I need them to get through the breakthrough pain after surgery. I just got out of the hospital...but I am having a rough time.
To add to the fear of addiction and pain... my mom... has a key to my house and came over while I was in the hospital.
I guess she wants acknowledgement.. but I specifically asked her NOT to clean my house. I specifically asked another woman to help me clean (for pay) and she did not show up. Last week I could not bend and pick up anything off the ground. But ... the problem is when someone helps me and I am not home and they are not invited.... she puts everything away somewhere that I cannot find it.
So here I am ... really upset because my coffee is missing... and on serious pain meds.. and my old mom wants acknowledgement for cleaning my house without my permission and moving everything ... and I just want to know where in the world is the coffee. I was grumpy as all get out.. and wanted to be able to stay awake long enough to read doctor directions before crashing. Truth be told they would not let me out of the hospital this early in past years but now the health insurance does not keep me that long.
So... How do I get the super co-dependent to stop fixing things, moving things and trying to get in my face to help me ... when I am so so nasty from drugs that I need and I just want to sleep off the pain a couple more days... and not have someone in my face literally.
What I want to do is yell go away at her... and then I realize of course I cant, she is my mom. BUt Go away is the exact response my alcoholic ex boyfriend just gave me when i wanted encouragement.
So... I would love to hear your stories about the same thing. I am sure you have them. Going into surgery I basically got a go away email from my alcoholic ex boyfriend. I don't think he knows I cried for 3 days after that.. (also largely because i was very low iron and on serious narcotics.) But.. he knew I was going into surgery at that moment... so a go away kind of email...
Is it just karma or are all of us alcoholics just nasty people and whenever kindness is slightly off kilter or not the way we expect it we yell go away.
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