I first felt how you did at 23, then again at 28, then 31, etc. Everytime I thought if I could just cut back, or I would get older and "grow out of it." Turns out as I got older things only got a lot worse. You have a promising future and it sounds like alcohol is already doing damage to you personally and professionally. Stopping for 4 nights is a start but what happens when you return to the bottle? Control? Not likely given your history. Stick around and read some posts, your story is not unfamiliar. I could never learn to moderate no matter how hard I tried. Hopefully you can find a better path. Welcome aboard.