Yes, true. He is stubborn and won't seek medical help. My birthday was last weekend, and he had asked what I wanted for my present, "For you to go to the doctor!"...but of course, he disappeared before my birthday, so I doubt that happened anyway.
Thanks for the book recommendations, I am reading snippets from the abandonment book online now, it makes sense.
It's hard not to reach out, at least to make sure he's alive, but last time I called, a few weeks back, he sent me to voicemail, and I was so hurt I didn't try to call again. I know the bars where he hangs out, but I don't want to go in and see him or ask the bartender where he is...that's a little too embarrassing for me, as he has in the past told them I'm his wife (why?).
His friends, who are also my friends, say that he did this to a woman he was dating many years ago, totally ignored her and told them to tell her he had "moved back to NZ"...but since I know his family, he's not pulling that card I guess.