Welcome to SR,Larry.
Use this site as a tool.
I can tell just by reading through your post that it is helping you already.
It really does help to get things off your chest and talk with those that have been there.
I know cause I was very much like you one year ago when I put that bottle down.
Come here often, join a class and talk about the cravings, what you want to do , and where you want to be in the future.
This is a world wide site, there's always somebody here to listen and give advice.
Good luck, brother.