7 months sober; 2/24/14 is my sobriety starting point. I have accomplished so much in this short time and it is simply amazing. Just wanted to let people realize that the absolute helplessness and hopeless in my post was a temporary mind-state of someone who as flawed as I am can change and improve (for all the lurkers).
To: jaynie04;Brian316;least;LindaLou;Dee74 thank you for your replies. I cannot thank you enough. You never know what one reply, one comment, one conversation can do to aid someone who needs support. And all of you care; took the time to respond and spread hope. Which, without any personal gain is a honorable deed in itself. I am really grateful for the support.
I hope to make an impact myself, the best I can strive for is to give better advice than I follow myself. Why would I say such a thing? I now appreciate company with people I admire as it gives me something to strive for...a personal test. And I am glad to be in good company here around people who don't give up on another person. Because I have changed and I will continue to evolve in every avenue in life. I make it a personal argument when people say that others cannot change. I have personally witnessed countless others who have as well. The greatest hoax upon us humans is notion of power. Alcohol is an escape and while powerlessness over alcohol is true: to a person like me it is sort of like the social constructs we live within.
It is an illusion; a mere diversion from true attainment, happiness and freedom. A bottle won't save you, a bank account will not save you, social status will not either. Being at peace with yourself and trying to be an honorable, decent, moral person is the truest form of human evolution.