Hi All,
I looked back at the beginning of our class last night. It seems I didn't post until here until the end of the month, and only once in March.
I also butted right in and never really introduced myself. So, if you all don't mind, I'd like to hang here with you people!!!!
A little background,
I really didn't drink much during my teens, I got sick one of the first times I had more than 1 beer. So I stayed away from it, an occasional drink was more than enough.
My 21st birthday, my friends got me well wasted on Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker Black, and Southern Comfort. I really hated the hangover, so I stayed away from straight liquor for a long time.
I was always the responsible one when I was out with friends, I would usually drink weak 7 & 7's, never fast enough to get drunk, I could stay in the bars all night and never have more than 4 drinks.
Fast forward to 1994, I started dating a girl who drank tequila shots. I tried them, but, at first didn't care for them, so , no more than 1 per night.
Soon enough, they were growing on me, I switched to beer with a shot of Jose Cuervo after every third beer, still not too bad as I could only drink maybe 5 beers in a night before I got tired of it.
Not very long after that, the tequila started getting more and more frequent.
In 1999, I moved fro Chicago to Key West with the girl now known as the estranged Mrs Budd. got a decent job, paid cash for my house and started going to the many local bars. We were living it up, no mortgage, two incomes we both started drinking more and more. My tequila intake was now 2 shots for every beer. It was getting so bad I had to pick up a 2nd job as Mrs Budd got fired from a few for coming back from lunch plastered if at all.
We left Key West in 2003, Mrs Budd had developed her own serious problems with Vodka and Xanex. Moved up to Central Florida ,where, I originally slowed down again.
Not for long though, Mrs Budd got worse and worse, so I used her as an excuse to up my intake.
I really hated Central Florida, and was looking online at small island properties. I found three houses in Vava'u, Tonga.
We decided to buy them and make the move, I was hoping that somewhere that remote would make us both slow down. I was WAY wrong. My last three months there I again slowed down, however, Mrs Budd made up for it. So, after 1 year and 1 day, I gave her everything and left Tonga with $50.00 and my clothes and came back to Key West.
When I got back in 2006 both my old jobs were open again, so I jumped back into them.
I was alone, separated and not feeling too good about how far I had fallen. I swore I was going to clean up my act. Didn't happen. Instead of looking for good things to happen, I only looked for reasons to drink, pretty soon any reason was good enough. By now I had completely switched to 3 tequilas to every beer.
The next few years, it does, things rapidly declined. I was down to one beer and a minimum of 10 tequila shots per night, and since I was in the bar business, I got the "special" shots, at least twice as large as the "normal" shot.
I would never go right home as I live in an old run down mobile home with a ceiling of 6' 6 inches, I'm 6'3 so no ceiling fans for me!
I finally got arrested in March 2013 for DUI. was pulled over on my property and failed the roadside test, I didn't think I was that bad but I knew I was over the limit, Yep .224.
I read somewhere that you will drive drunk, on average, 100 times before being caught. I'm sure I had done it over 2000 times.
Even though I was on my property, the police still towed my car. That night in jail I decided enough was enough, I had hit my bottom. Jail itself wasn't the issue, it was just like a bad hotel with lousy room service. ( I've been in worse hotels and Mrs Budd was an awful cook).
Saw the judge in the morning and was released, but my first court date was only 4 days away, I was still working 70 hour weeks and didn't even have time to try to get a lawyer. I went to apply for a public defender figuring on just pleading guilty, but I was turned down because I had a job and a car.
I hired a lawyer after the state asked for a continuance to amend my charge to a higher degree because I was over .15 BAC. The lawyers wanted to fight it.
In the mean time, I found SR and really just started reading and occasionally posting. In April I really started getting in with you Marchers as well as the 24 hour club.
With the passing few months, my time here and reading about AVRT my resolve to stay sober continued to get stronger and stronger.
In April, my job cut back on some hours so I was finally down to 40-50 hours a week, so, boredom started kicking in.
I started thinking about when I was happiest. That time was in the mid 90's when I remodeled my house to a very relaxing place, so much so that I rarely went out unless I was bowling. And even though I had a nice bar built in the den, I never drank at home.
So I started watching a lot of HGTV and DIY network. The things they were doing seemed to be simpler now, so, I started fixing up my rat hole of a trailer I know live in. I painted the place, started refinishing some furniture and the tiled my bathroom and kitchen.
Now, I enjoyed going home after work. My cat Max still liked me.
In August of last year, the lawyers wanted doctors notes about my knee surgeries and foot and ankle problems to fight the roadside tests. ( I couldn't pass some of them today, my knees and feet are so weak) But, I had had enough. I told the lawyer to just make it go away as fast as possible.
I was offered what they call the " Back on Track" agreement, which they offer to all first time DUI's as long as there are no injuries. If the States Attorney would have offered me this in March, I would have jumped at it and not needed a lawyer.
In the program you have some things you must do
About $2500 in fines and costs.
60 hours of community service
an 8 hour online driver improvement course
a 2 hour MADD course
Drunk Driving School
An alcohol risk assessment, where you could get sent to an addiction counselor.
30 day alcohol monitoring anklet.
Once everything is completed, the charge drops from DUI to Reckless Driving. Not too bad in my opinion. I thought I could use everything as a learning experience and develop more tools to help me stay sober.
As soon as I signed up for the program, I wanted to get everything over with ASAP. So I took the online MADD course. That course was interesting, I do believe that it should be shown to everyone before they are allowed to drive.
The next course, The 8 hour Driver Improvement course was ridiculously pathetic. You couldn't go at your own pace, each module had a minimum time you had to spend on before being allowed to move ahead. The table of Contents was 20 minutes!!! 20 Minutes just to read what the other chapters are???????? I did it in 1 minute.
All the statistics were from no later than the year 2000. It didn't mention talking on cell phones or texting while driving, but I did have to spend 45 minutes on the chapter about Child Safety Seats. ( the only way a child will ever be in my car, is if someone with a child steals my car)
Fortunately, I could just read the chapter and walk away until the time was up, the do the quiz. The final test I'm sure I could have passed when I was no older that 8. ( They really need to update the curriculum and make it relevant to today.
The community service was no problem as Special Olympics was doing their bowling training for State and I always volunteer coach.
The money could be spread out over time, I had 9 months to complete and pay for everything.
The risk assessment, I did at the beginning of September, as soon as I sat down, the interviewer said I will get sent for counseling because I blew so high. OK, I now have 6 months sober, that should count for something?
The counselor I went to asked me some questions and depending on my answers, would indicate how many session I need, anywhere from 4 to 12. I was completely honest with him. POOR CHOICE, by saying that I had ever been to an AA meeting and that I had a parent that was an alcoholic, I immediately qualified for 12 sessions. Had I said no to those( I went to 3 AA meetings in my life, 2 here right after I got arrested and before I found SR and one to support Mrs Budd when she got arrested in 2002 and though my mother was an alcoholic she had been dead for 19 years) I would have only had to do, at the most 4 sessions. ( 6 months sober meant nothing)
I was pissed off, almost to the point of saying &*^% it, they don't care why should I? I came on here instead and ranted about it until I felt better.
So, I start going to these "sessions" This "Addiction Specialist" spent 12 weeks telling me that AA is the only thing that works ( I'm not against AA, it just wasn't right for me) and showing me 10 year old magazine articles about how booze affects the brain. He kept showing me the same papers and asking if we went over this already. Isn't that his job to know what we have gone over. How about getting organized?
I told him about SR and AVRT, and how much those have helped me. He had never heard of either!!!! As an addiction counselor shouldn't you be aware of different approaches?!?
After about the 10th session, I finally told him that these session were absolutely useless to me. His response..... Then just think of them as punishment..... Yeah that's what I needed to hear. I almost went out and drank that day, Came on here and vented some more.
After the last session, he had the balls to tell me he thought I would benefit by continuing to see him!!! I laughed at that concept. His last words were " I guess you're cured then, I'll probably see you again within a few years."
The 30 day monitoring bracelet was a breeze except for the first night, they put it on so tight, I could have swore, they nailed it on!!! I called them and they loosened it up the next day.
So, in hindsight, The "counselor" has become a tool in my plan, I won't give that moron the satisfaction of seeing me again.
Over all, even the bad things that happened had a purpose. The memory of the night in jail has faded, the money it cost has been spent, if I hadn't been arrested it would have been spent on booze anyways, so the worst parts of the entire ordeal will be the ones I remember, and I do hold grudges on some things. I wont let them win!!!!!!!!
Just the other day, on another thread, I wrote that since I retired from drinking, I've been able to;
Pay my lawyers and court costs
Fix my trailer up so now I enjoy spending time at home
Bought new furniture for my bedroom and living room.
Increased my 401K contributions from 3 to 13%
Got my puppy, Jezebel.
And most of all...
Met a GREAT group of people here at SR!!!
So, I guess that's me Buddink. I'm glad to meet you and hope you don't mind if I stick around!
You can also call me Ken. ( phew am I tired of typing!)