Originally Posted by
ReadyAtLast 
I disagree with taking an alcoholic drink in hand to pretend you're drinking. It's easy for it to be topped up .At the end of the day there is no shame in NOT drinking and no shame in saying you are not drinking. you don't need to tell everyone your business, just say no
Pretending to drink, lying -to me it's just lying to yourself and pretending to be someone you're not. For me getting sober wasn't just stopping drinking but learning how to be honest and true with myself and stopping pretending to be someone I wasn't
I agree with Ready. I have been in the same situation several times. One was last week where three friends were having some drinks; two alcoholics and one normal drinker. When offered a drink, i just said no thanks. Nothing was brought of it at all and i enjoyed the conversation without having a drop of alcohol. felt great that night and the next day that I just said "no thanks" and we moved on. None of the three i was with knows anything about my addiction btw.
Tough situation that you should handle which ever way that will keep you from drinking. Don't go if that is what it takes, chime in here to SR on breaks from the BBQ often, or go and simply don't dwell on the fact that you are not drinking and more than likely no one else will either.
Good luck!