Regarding perfectionism. It's a trait I have, not who I am. I used to think it was a positive trait. Then I thought it was a negative trait. Now I realize, it's both. It helps me accomplish tasks and learn new skills. It also makes me disappointed in myself and encourages my negative self-talk. It helps me strive for greatness, but doesn't allow me to feel satisfied with progress. It's not something I "struggle with" or hope to eliminate. Instead, I try to recognize when it's controlling me and allow myself to be less than perfect. When it takes over, I know the committee in my head is in session. That's when it's time to adjourn the meeting and just be. I've learned that you really can't fight or change the personality traits you have. You just have to learn to take yourself back when they try to take control.
I'm not always successful in this. I still sometimes get caught up in perfectionism (and other things), but I'm slowly learning to recognize those parts of me that cause misery.
L