day 5.. I need to run off these thoughts!
Yesterday was a good day.. then I got a text from a "friend" a guy who I used to buy coke from. Well, sometimes I'd buy it, sometimes he would give it to me followed by him trying to hit on me for days after. We never dated or were more than friends, but when I was drinking I definitely encouraged the flirting, because of course the flirtier I was the more he gave me for free (SO ugly, I know) coke was never really my DOC. I mean I like it but I was more into taking pills. but if I was already drunk and it was offered I gladly accepted. Anyway, I was up till 2am last night obsessing over it.. this morning he texted again and i told him not to text me anymore.
Sorry my post is all over the place, these are just my thoughts at the moment. Its a combo of the cravings, and also the gross feeling remembering how I let this loser talk to me when I shouldve had enough self respect to tell him to take his cocaine and f*** off! About to go on a long run, take a shower and move on with my day. Ugh!!