Originally Posted by
Elseware 
Actually I don't. I see them as variations on a theme. My thoughts are very mutable depending on my mood which alters by the every 10 minutes or so. But I can't defend my self. I only know that this morning I'm flailing.
I'm looking at the mundanity of my housework and my morning workout with great resistance. So far I've brushed my teeth this morning. Funny thing is, I don't know what I'd rather be doing. I can't think of a thing I'd like to do but browse on SR or read quietly. What I am resisting and asking, I guess, is it ok to feel quiet? One moment it IS ok and the next moment is filled with anxiety about it.
Firstly, all of it is okay and no need to defend anything. But to me in this morning's first post to OL I found your comments moving towards your own acceptance and that you were finding serenity in this peace or joy as you stated.
Shortly afterwards I was confused by your question to me or perhaps the group about slowing from 200mph to a more normal speed and calming down is not really living.
I relate to both actually quite well. However, I have come to realize the insanity associated with believing you can go 200MPH everywhere. It is not possible. That old saying every action has an equal reaction. So to offset the 200mph, I needed to have some -80mph days to equal out at 60MPH.
In the beginning when we are going 60MPH everything can feel blah until our minds can adjust to this new normal. Perhaps this is why this morning you may have felt okay with your new normal but just a short while later questioning if your feelings and life were okay? I experienced this phenomenon exactly. I chronicled it here too. For me as time went on the intervals between the peaks and troughs extended and the amplitude or height between the peak and trough was lessened. This was moving directionally towards a new normal that is often stated as living in my skin or new skin. Now I am grateful for the 60MPH and never want to go back to the 200MPH. If I get a thought of returning I have my tool kit to deal with those thoughts vs acting.
I hope this helps and some might make sense.