Originally Posted by
happybeingme 
DD-I dont love my mother. I dont think love is possible when it isnt reciprocated. I understand my mother isnt capable of love. But, it doesnt mean I have to love her anyway. That just doesnt make sense to me.
Dont feel bad. I think most people would be afraid to admit they dont love their mothers. Mothers are thought of as some kind of angel on earth or something. But, the truth is they are just human.
This!
My aunt, my mothers sister, posted in FB the other day about some guy that was in a storm and it got so bad that he had to leave the area but he left his mother behind. She was so angry that he left his mother and posted that you should never ever abandon your mother.
I, of course, took it personal.
My fingers reached for the keys and I wanted to type, “you would if she was a heartless, self centered, emotional abusive narcissist, but of course I didn’t do that.
I felt a twinge of guilt because that is what I have been trained to feel all my life. I realize now that I have been trained to do, feel and act certain ways. They are becoming clearer to me and I am making changes. I may not be responsible for the training but now that I see the faults or traits I am responsible to try and change those habits.
Guilt is an emotional weapon used by some parents to keep their children in line. In some cases, a small amount of healthy guilt is okay. Like stealing a candy bar or picking the neighbors flowers.
The kind that you are feeling it not. It is a controlling guilt and that is not healthy.
You should not feel guilty for having your own feelings, they are yours and they are valid.
