Cherra, I know what you are talking about when you say that he had an awful temper. I've been there. It seems that both you and your daughter were walking on eggshells around him. It's a horrible place to be.
I had a thought about something that I wanted to share with you. She lives at college, and she was out a lot when she was home, so I think the awful temper may hit her a little different then it hits you. She might have gotten used to some calmness at college, so when he explodes now she is more sensitive to it. Whereas you have been with him without any break and you could be more desensitized. I know that happened to me.
It's the story of the frog and the boiling water.
That was really good that you have stopped talking to her about her Dad. She doesn't want to hear it.
I can also see you getting stronger.
(((((((((hugs)))))))))