You're not the problem here, alchohol is the problem. My family blamed my wife's alcoholism on my work, hobbies, desire to get out in the world and have a life rather than sitting watching daytime TV with my exAW...
People always look for someone to blame. Your spouse is not an alcoholic because of anything you have ever done. They are an alcoholic because they are addicted to alcohol.
It does get easier. People do eventually see that they got it wrong. Stop blaming yourself - it isn't your doing and there's nothing you could do differently to change it.
It sounds to me like you are struggling with self esteem. Have you thought of having some counselling? I found it very helpful.