When you asked if it was ok if you and your friend were drinking that night, the correct response from him would be "That would be hard for me to handle right now. Could I ask you to take it elsewhere, or just make it a sober night? If not, I need to go somewhere else." If you decline, he should be the one to vacate the premises to take care of himself. This is NOT on you. You are not expected to be a mind reader, nor are you the steward of his sobriety.
Missing a meeting by "sleeping through it" (my bs meter is in the yellow), the temper tantrum, and blaming you are signs that he is not embracing recovery. My AW gets like this when she is about to relapse - excuses, blaming me for us "not getting along", missing meetings, passive-aggressive moodiness, neglecting household responsibilities. It sounds like he is in relapse mode, whether he has broken sobriety or not.