Thanks Firesprite. Hockey is such a great release, plus the nature of the game forces you to focus only on what your doing cause you could get your head taken off, lol.
We have only been married 9 months, we dated for like 4 months before we got married. That I know is on me. I was so caught up in the whirlwind of it and it felt like what I was looking for. Once we got married that's when the that's when my caretaker/ want to help and be responsible took over. I felt like I was always putting out fires and of course another was just waiting to be started. That's the me I am working on and as I realize more and more about my part in it I see that our relationship has been not much more than that. It is sad to think about but then again I feel so relieved to be free to be myself again.