His recovery is not your recovery. His relapse was not your fault.
Sounds to me like a lack of communication between you and your husband on what is and is not acceptable. Some A's cannot be around alcohol. That doesn't mean that their recovery is not solid - rather, they recognize a trigger. We do not keep alcohol in our home but I never did anyway. However, my husband cannot go into a bar. He gets panic attacks. Going into bars a couple of years ago so that I could have a drink if we were out lead to his relapse. This happened because he was not HONEST with me that it was triggering him. He denied that it had any affect on him at all. After the relapse is when I found out.
So here is the deal - as much as it should be that we who are not A's and the spouses or partners of A's want to say that we should be able to do whatever we want when it comes to alcohol it doesn't always work out that way for the recovery of our RA's. You don't lose your choice, you want to drink then you can and its not 'wrong", but your A may decide it isn't something he can live with or be around and you gotta respect that in as much that he needs to respect that for you, you may not be willing to make that lifestyle change.
Comparing Alcoholism to Diabetes is just not an accurate comparison. Sorry. My husband is also diabetic. I can promise you that I have never seen him stand at the pantry and shovel sugar by the spoonful in his mouth. Watching me eat a sweet has never prompted him to eat a cake. However, I have seen him chug a bottle of vodka at 9 am when he thought I was sleeping. A diabetic is NOT AN ADDICT although an addict can have diabetes.
Hopeful that your husband will get on a recovery program that works for him, and that the two of you will able to resolve this in a way that you are both happy.