Mainstream culture certainly has this as a powerful tenet.
Yet I'm surprised by how many "normies" are actually not on speaking terms with their own Moms. Most are obviously short term fights, but there are longer conflicts too. People just don't acknowledge how common it is.
The idea that one must have unconditional love for one's parents seems to be of even greater importance in me , and i suspect many ACOA, than in most people, who actually accept that whatever happens, happens, and that the relationship depends on a healthy two way dialog. If the relationship breaks down through no fault of your own, it does not mean that you are evil, and must immediately surrender your claim to humanity.
Perhaps us ACOA, raised by an A and a Codie, had these "unconditional" values impressed upon us particularly strongly?
As regards the two-way thing. I don't feel that i've ever been treated as an adult, and we never talked as peers - two adult relatives. Our conversations were always a parent /child thing. She was always asking the questions and giving the advice/instructions. I could never set the agenda, and I suppose an A has good reasons for wanting to keep things that way.
Of course i still love my mother, and wish she was still part of my life. Unfortunately, her interactions threaten my mental health, and i am the least well equipped person to deal with them. She had at least 15 years to see that the effect she was having was making it difficult to maintain the relationship from my end, though i kept coming back. I need to let go of the guilt that i finally stopped doing so.
What she needs is tough love and implacability, someone who is prepared to set boundaries and enforce them. She did not raise me to be that kind of person, i was raised to love unconditionally, keep secrets, tell people what they want to hear and keep opinions to myself, to never question a parent and to do as i'm told.