Things turned around a bit for me in my codependency when I stopped thinking of "letting people go" (which I found insanely difficult) to "accepting people for who they are" (instead of what I was so darn sure they could be). When I accepted that my XABF had no desire to stop drinking, and that I was the one who had a problem with his drinking, I was finally able to walk away. Some people accept their active A's and continue the relationship with them, but adjust their expectations accordingly.
There's no one path to peace, but whatever ours is, we have to walk it with our eyes open to what is really in front of us, not what used to be or what we hope will be.