I posted this in another section but wanted to share with our class one of the more amazing experiences of getting sober:
I chaired my mens group last night. Its not the first time I have chaired a meeting or shared my story but was the first time with this group. There are roughly 50 guys in this group and some of the shares can be powerful. There is strength and honesty that I find in this meeting, which is why I like it.
I introduced myself and provided much of my early backstory. Sometimes I get some PTSD when talking but I did not. I was nervous and looking down versus engaging (I would have to consciously look up in the eyes of those I was speaking to). I made a point to remind those in the room that I am not a victim and things happened to me but I am not that experience its a component of who I am. I also made it clear I don't believe some of the trauma I experienced made me an addict but likely contributed to a disease that once activated made my desire to drink and use that much greater.
I then spoke to the spiral down and how bad things got and loosing my mind and not knowing what was up or down towards the end.
My topic was How it Works and I proceeded to share my experience with being 12 stepped, SR, my spiritual experience, my previous sponsor, and the directions I received from my HP to guide me to my step sponsor and my experience working my steps, particularly how I had gotten stuck on #4 and how I moved through it.
After my share you could hear a pin drop in the room. Nobody wanted to raise their hand. I started to feel insecure and then a guy shared and told me it was one of the most powerful shares he had heard. Then another guy shared and came out with his own sex abuse, then another guy who is gay and how he struggled with identity, then another guy who was raped then a guy who paralyzed someone in a drunk driving incident. These guys don't usually share and I felt I helped by going deep into the abyss and shining light on my traumas helped make it easier for them to feel comfortable sharing some of their darkest secrets.
It was an out of the body experience for me, as if I was not the one talking but watching this guy talk about things I was intimately familiar with. I still feel lightened and great about the meeting and at no time did I have concerns over whether I was disclosing too much.