Originally Posted by
iam2antsy 
feel totally lost & have no clue - today
it's always something - yesterday (at this point - i rarely sleep) i wasn't going to drink! so on a good day take care of myself, use all my lotions & potions and
i find some random odd knot on my leg & "paranoia will destroy ya"...and i worry what is it?? big fear cancer will kill me, so that ruined my good intention for the day
i am ashamed of the mess i am...
Maybe committing to some kind of regular recovery plan, and regular support network, will bring you some stability and the space from which to sort out the other stuff.
That's how it happened for me.
Randomly drinking, my life stayed more or less in chaos I'm afraid....
D