Most people on this forum can relate to you. I certainly can. I have so many cringe-worthy and embarrassing moments I wish I could take back. While I drinking on a daily basis, these moments were brushed aside as soon as I had my first drink of the day. I am sober now, but just now dealing with the shame, guilt, and embarrassment of events years ago. Recently, I stopped anti-depressants so I really have nothing holding back my true feelings. I been having trouble sleeping for a few weeks now. Out of nowhere, a memory from like 7 years will pop into my head and I will ruminate for hours about it.
I know that my brain is adapting to no alcohol and no medication, but in the meantime, I am wracked with guilt and suffering insomnia. 2:30am here and I am dead tired, but mind won't stop racing.