I ask him if I can have wine with my friend.
He says my actions almost messed up his 13 days of sobriety, and that he said he almost got drunk that night but instead got on SMART and worked his way through it.
He and you both seem to be working under the assumption that you are partially responsible for his sobriety and recovery.
You are not.
That's his ball of wax. The fact that he tries to shame and guilt you into behaving the way he wants (or, he implies, else he will --
automatically almost -- start drinking again?) That's not a good sign. That's not a person who takes full responsibility for his own recovery.