Thread: Anybody relate?
View Single Post
Old 07-21-2014, 09:41 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
solo1
Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by redatlanta View Post
A normie senses when another does not want to be touched. Or talked to. Shouldn't be offended by it - we all need our personal space. RAH and I observe this in each other you have to when you live with someone.

So either he is just intoxicated and doesn't realize it (which I don't think), its a control issue (more likely) or he is sensing your dissatisfaction in the relationship and is becoming pushy (yep). Whatever the case it sounds very claustrophobic to have someone all over you like that. Ditto the accusations of an affair.

Perhaps you could speak with your daughters doctors - to me removing her out of a dysfunctional relationship and stressful environment would be better. It might be adding to her depression.

I think its common to feel there is no way out. I felt that way. My A got sober so getting out did not happen. However, I came up with a plan even though financially we weren't in the best place at the time. All's I am saying is where there is a will there is a way. You may not be able to start a new life in the lifestyle you are used to but it really doesn't matter because sanity and peace are priceless. Cars can be sold or can go back to dealerships. Debt can be paid off or if in a pickle, bankruptcy and start over that's what its for. Why not talk with your Al Anon group about this as well - I guarantee you aren't the only person who has felt trapped financially in a marriage.

Giving up to me is settling for a life you don't want. Yes you are doing the best you can right now also sending prayers that you will find your path.
Your right its for sure a control issue! Its easy to blame it on the drinking but some of this has been evident for a long long time and is not new..

Yup my daughter has a lot of support through our community psychiatric center and her councillor has stressed that she really feels getting out of the enviroment is what is best for her. I know in my heart it is the right thing to do...its just scary to think about the what ifs...what if she attempts suicide again and I am not there because i will have to work more..etc...

You are so right, I may not be able to keep the new car or spend like I am used to but I can certainly keep a roof over our heads and have peace and serinity in my home...
solo1 is offline