Solo, as I read your post, I see my relationship with my h. He goes through hot and cold cycles. When he's hot, it's very inappropriate and then would make me feel guilty when I didn't reciprocate. It's a total turn off. And I would end up doing things that I wasn't feeling comfortable with. It's just recently that I have put boundaries in place. He doesn't like it. But I don't like the who he becomes when he drinks. I hate the smell, the attitude, and everything that the drinking brings. Then he will go to the cold mode. I'm sticking to my boundaries and taking steps to get in a better place for myself and my kids.
You are doing the best in the situation you are in. I'm praying for you and your daughter...peace