Hi cherra,
I don't know the answer to all of this. I wanted to let you know what I experienced. My children wanted me to leave my ex. They were afraid for me. One told me that he wanted me to get away before he went to college. The other, when she picked me up from the hospital after he hit me, told me that she wished that I had left years ago.
I think sometimes they just get so angry at us for wanting to continue in these kinds of relationships, they may also turn on us, because to them it seems like they need to take care of us, instead of living their own lives.
There are a lot of misconceptions about alateen, and alanon. A lot of people take it as trying to be able to live with the alcoholic in their lives.
She may be thinking this. She was in the house when he fired the gun.
She has seen a lot, and heard a lot. Sometimes she may just need some time to process things so that she can be ok in her own head.
I do think the worse thing ever for her right now would be to go back.
((((((hugs))))))
PS --- I think for now she just needs to know that she is safe. I think to hold off on the other things for awhile, because she may feel she is doing this to go back to the same situation