Originally Posted by
Stung 
You're preaching to the choir. I wish the same thing at least once a day but I don't have balance because I wasn't raised in a balanced environment. In fact, I bet if I was dropped into a situation with a bunch of balanced people I would probably try to relate to them in a dysfunctional way because that's what I know. You're trying to become a healthier version of yourself and that's enough for today.
Be kind to yourself, Liz. I think you're doing a fantastic job!
LOL! Exactly! I am working hard at letting go of my dysfunction. It's funny because I was talking to my therapist the other day and complaining about how I read a lot of books, I write a lot about my issues, I pray, etc and she said that my problem is that I let it all stew up in my head and that I ruminate on it and process it and that I never let it get to my emotions or to my heart. I am an over thinker by nature, so how do you let those emotions in when you don't know how, really? I spent so much of my life shutting up, quieting down, not allowed to speak my peace, etc because of my father and his intolerance of other people and then my AH, that I sometimes don't even know what I feel. I just know that's it's uncomfortable and then I try to affix some sort of label to that uncomfortableness: I'm sad, I'm lonely, I'm scared, etc when really it might just be that I'm ticked off and angry. Getting to the root of my feelings is going to be key for me and it's an exhausting process, I have a life to live, too, LOL.
I do find that the busier I am, the better I feel, even if it exhausts me physically. I'm heading to the gym soon and then I have to come home and do some housework and laundry. And, as I go through my day, I pray that God will guide me to safe people and that he will put friends in my life who can lift me up and support me, instead of dragging me down. People whom I can do the same thing for, as well.