It's like reading my own experience on here. In a sad way, it's really kind of amazing how similar the situations are.
Basically: I don't control the alcohol, the alcohol absolutely controls me. And for a while, I could take that gamble and hope that it didn't turn out to be a "bad" night. Soon, those bad nights became so much more frequent, and before I knew it... I was the village drunk. And that really, really hurts.