Your home is a dangerous place emotionally and has been a long time for you.
Of course you are hypervigilant.
When you're in the jungle you worry about being eaten
that's how you survive.
I could see how this has been "exported" into ordinary life with "regular" people
beyond your qualifier.
I have done the same thing for most of my life as well growing up in an alcoholic home.
I've never felt safe emotionally. This is the collateral damage ACOAs often must deal with in their own relationships.
At 50 (in August) I have made progress, but still pretty
deep analysis of every situation and interaction in terms of emotion / affect.
This is very helpful to think about lizatola--between this and Stung's post today on controlling others I have much to ponder
in the next few days about the long-term way I have "been
doing" my interactions with people and why I am this way.
With my spouse drinking increasingly more and sliding down the slippery slope I know too well from my own travels,
I realize the jungle is growing up around me again and if anything,
I have begun to retreat into my emotional buffer zone as his anger bursts happen and unpredicable drinking / depression occurs.
Is it possible to live in an alcoholic home without fear of being harmed at some level?
I'm not sure it is, or may not be for me as I'm so triggered by it.
Thanks for the insight
