Hi Mechuen! Welcome to SR, but so sorry for what brings you here. FWIW, you sound incredibly clear-headed about the effects of his addiction on you and about the codependent patterns you've gotten into with him. I guess my suggestion would be for you to think about what are healthy boundaries for you? You sound like you have healthy self esteem but have maybe made some compromises for someone you've been with for a very long time and understandably want to help. It might be time to rethink some of those compromises, not to punish him but to protect yourself. Are you willing to be involved with someone who cheats on you? Are you willing to live with someone in active addiction? Are you willing to deal with the uncertainty of a disappearing partner? Just some things to think over. You might consider seeking face to face support at an al-anon or nar-anon meeting, or from a therapist. Good luck!