New to all this
Hi
I have been married to my Hfah for almost 13 years now and only within the last week had the light bulb turned on that I am not the root of all the problems and his drinking is. I have become a total codependent nightmare to the point of not recognizing who I am anymore. I have 4 kids, no friends, no real support system and am lost. I don't know where to go from here or what I need to do. My husband is not physically abusive but definitely verbally abusive. Thankfully it is almost always directed at me and not the kids. Everything is always my fault. The house is never clean enough, the food I make never good enough, and now threatens to leave on a regular basis or I get the next month you will be in a whole world of hurt when I have left. He holds down and excels at work and can be very charming. He doesn't think his drinking is a problem nor would anyone else as he saves the show stoppers for me. I have gotten my self warped to the point where I had my first anxiety attack about a week ago and almost get panic stricken if I see something out of place when he is around because I never know if I will get Dr Jeckyll or Mr Hyde.